Holding Onto You
by TeddyBearHuggles
Summary: Kaname and Zero are living together, but Zero is constantly worried. He does not know if Kaname will stay with him forever, like he promised. Is Zero forcing Kaname to stay with him? Would Kaname rather be somewhere else? Kaname x Zero. Yaoi! Rated M for slight mature scene. Thank you to my wonderful betas! One-shot! Sequel may be written.


_**A/N:** Another Kaname x Zero story (: Yay! For those who want to read my other Kaname x Zero story, it is a chapter story, it is called Field of Innocence, so go check it out. This song I thought about while listening to Linkin Park's song Waiting for the End, I know, I come up with a lot of ideas from songs haha_

_I had to think about it, because when I first thought about it, I thought about it being a Zero x Ichiru one, but I decided to change it, so it would be a little bit more...interesting I guess haha So, here's the story, and I hope you all like it ^^_

_**Time:** The time of this story (SPOILERS WARNING) is basically after Yuki turned into a vampire, and all that stuff happened at the end of Vampire Knight Guilty, or, for those that read the manga, after Ichiru died and Rido was killed. But instead of Yuki and Kaname leaving with Aido, Ruka and Kain, Kaname has instead left with Zero, because, you know, they love each other haha Yuki is living where she should have lived with Kaname, and Aido is still caring for her, Kaname is just with Zero now. And one of my betas actually mentioned to me that vampires sleep during the day, I didn't want to go back and fix that after it had been fixed and whatnot, so I decided that the reason Kaname sleeps during the night is because Zero does, and Zero cannot sleep well without Kaname. So that is the reason Kaname sleeps with Zero during the night, and is awake during the day with him, though naps are often involved in there and he does not go outside for long periods of time.  
_

_**Beta:** I actually did have someone beta this story for me, just because I wanted this one to be really good, and with really good grammar and spelling. Two people actually helped me, they go by the names Aura Kura and Shalheira. I must say thank you to them, they were both super nice and very patient with me ^^_

_**POV:** Zero_

_**Pairing:** Kaname x Zero_

_I know what it takes to move on,_

_I know how it feels to lie._

_All I want to do is trade this life for something new,_

_holding onto what I haven't got._

Kaname wasn't home. It was getting late, and he still wasn't home yet. Soon after we began living together, he told me that he would never stay out too long, because he knew how much it worried me. No matter where he was, no matter who he was with or what situation he was in, he'd always be home at a particular time every single night. But tonight, he wasn't. I was alone in the small house, it was far too quiet for my liking, I couldn't take it anymore. So, I jumped into the shower, begging for some noise or sound. The sound of water hitting the floor, wall and glass door, the sounds of it dripping off my body and surfaces were strangely comforting. Much more than the deafening silence of the home. Never have I lived in a place where it was so quiet. The house with my parents and brother, there was almost always noise there, since Master was there, teaching, or Ichiru was always talking or joking with me. The house with Yuki, the headmaster was a real chatterbox, so it was never quiet there either. Even in the dorms at Cross Academy I would hear the boys and their activities in the rooms near me, though there weren't many, talking or snoring. Better than no noise at all.

Releasing a deep, heavy sigh, I placed my head in the hot water, my silver hair falling down in front of my face. I watched as water dripped down the silky strands, onto the slippery bathtub floor, and then down the drain. My hair was getting rather long, similar to my brother's. I've thought about cutting it, but I get the feeling that Kaname doesn't want me to. He enjoyed playing with it often, whenever we were relaxing on the couch, or trying to fall asleep at night. It was almost like it comforted him, he always seemed to relax when he played with it. So, I decided, until he tells me otherwise, to keep it long like this.

Closing my eyes, I straightened myself up a bit, moving my hair back so that it was out of my face, then slowly wiping the water away from my eyes. Even though there was no clock in the bathroom, I was very well aware of the time. I had checked the clock at 11:15, and been in the shower for 20 minutes. Kaname still wasn't home yet. Feeling my stomach sink, I put some shampoo on my hands before rubbing it into my moonlit hair. I had to keep myself occupied until he came back, otherwise I'd just worry myself, sitting there, staring at the clock that seem to be moving like a snail. With my hair washed thoroughly, I placed my head back under the water, closing my eyes as the bubbles began to wash off my hair and my body. I remained like that, practically lost in my thoughts for the better part of 10 minutes. If Kaname didn't get home soon…

The slamming of a door caught my attention right away and I quickly opened my eyes, standing up straight. That was the front door, I was sure it was. Not even bothering to turn off the water, I pulled back the glass door and stepped out of the shower, not caring enough to grab a towel. I was too worried to think about covering up or drying off. It wasn't as if Kaname had never seen me without clothing before. Hurrying out of the bathroom, I quickly walked to the front hall, where the front door was situated. Kaname was taking off his shoes at the moment, but he looked up when he felt my presence.

" Zero, you're all wet," he said to me, frowning and straightening up a bit," Why didn't you grab a towel before you got out of the shower? You made a mess in the hallway." I was aware that I was dripping wet with water, just being in the shower and all, but Kaname had scared me, being as late as he was. I walked over to him, resting my head against his chest, looking down at the floor. Kaname didn't remain still for too long, putting both of his hands on my lower back gently, and I immediately relaxed into his touch, my eyes halfway closing.

" Were you worried? I didn't mean to stay out as long as I did, they wouldn't allow me to leave for quite some time, though I tried," Kaname explained to me. One of his hands moved up my wet back and to my wet hair. Letting a small moan of pleasure slip past my lips at his warm touch I leaned more into his chest, nearly burying my entire face in his shirt. Even though we washed our clothes together and in the same way, his clothing always seemed to smell so much better than my own. Kaname held me like that for a few minutes, before I began to shiver. Obviously from the cold.

" Come on, let's get you dressed. I didn't mean to worry you Zero, I'm sorry," he said as he removed his hands from my body, only to place one on my shoulder right after he removed it from my back. At his words, I nodded, looking up at him.

" I can get dressed. You can take a shower. I'll wait for you in the room," I responded to him, not wanting us to go into separate rooms, because I knew that I would only begin to worry once again. Even though I knew that he was in the house now, safe and unharmed. I couldn't help but worry about the simplest of things, the silliest of things. I couldn't help but worry…

" Okay Zero, get yourself dried and in warm clothes, I won't be too long," Kaname said with a small smile at me, leaning forward and placing his lips to my forehead in a gentle kiss. I closed my eyes as he did so, taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly. The littlest things that Kaname did affected me. I wondered if the things that I felt were the same for him. I hoped so. Slowly, he pulled away from me, giving me another small smile before passing by me towards the bathroom. I watched him until he rounded a corner, then I began walking myself to the bedroom, which was in the same hallway as the front door was. Walking into the room, I grabbed the towel that we always kept on the back of the door and began to dry myself off, aware of the mess that I made throughout the house. Kaname told me to just get dressed though, he'd probably clean it all up, even though I just wanted him to come right to bed. But, it would be best to clean up the floor before settling down, I knew that.

Once I was finished drying myself off, I placed the small piece of cloth back where it was previously behind the door, and then walked over to my part of the dresser to fetch some clothes for bed. I listened to the shower running as I searched around my drawers for something suitable. It didn't take me very long, since I didn't have much to choose from. Putting on my clothing, which was boxers, sweatpants and a long sleeved shirt, I decided to choose clothes for Kaname that he could get into. He didn't come into the room first before getting into the shower. Dressing quickly, I searched through his drawers, getting boxers and sweatpants for him, since that's what he liked to wear. I placed them on his side of the bed before crawling in myself, waiting for him patiently, listening to the shower as I did so. Kaname never took too long in the shower at all, and considering how late it was and that he had to get up early tomorrow, he'd probably be even quicker than he usually was. I was correct. Kaname got out of the shower soon after I had finished getting dressed. When the bathroom door opened, I couldn't help myself when I straightened up and looked at the door as I waited for him. He came in with a towel wrapped around his slender waist, and he smiled when he saw me staring.

" Thank you for getting out my clothes Zero. I suppose I probably should have grabbed them before I went into the shower," he said to me, coming to his side of the bed. He leaned over towards me and kissed the side of my face, right next to my ear, where I liked to be kissed the most. He pulled away after that and took off his towel, getting his clothing on quickly as I watched him.

" Are you going to go clean up the hallway?" I asked him, knowing that my expression looked somewhat hopeful that he wasn't going to. Kaname looked at me when I spoke up and smiled once again, reaching over and ruffling my hair, which caused me to lean into his touch slightly. His touch was too comforting for me to just resist.

" It won't take too long. You can get relaxed in here while I do it, okay?" he said as he took his hand back, picking up his towel, "Lay down under the covers. I'll be back in just a few minutes." Despite what I actually wanted, which was to beg him to just come right to bed with me and pull him in, I disappeared under the covers as he told me to. I didn't want to seem too clingy, since I never have been before this. I blame him for changing that about me. Kaname gave me a nod before he went over to the door, glancing at me once more before turning off the lights and heading out of the room, not closing the door though. I turned onto my side, facing the door, and kept my eyes open. Listening to him as he moved around the halfway, cleaning up the mess, I began to feel my eyelids closing slightly, though I tried as hard as I could to keep them open. Slowly my eyes closed as I waited for Kaname to come back, drifting off a bit, but not falling completely asleep. I wouldn't, or yet, I couldn't, unless he was lying down next to me. Not even hearing him when he came back into the room, I opened my eyes when I felt the bed shift beside me and he was lying down next to me. Not hesitating for a moment, I snuggled up close to him, resting my head on his warm chest. He gently took my hand and rubbed it with his thumb before bringing it up to his lips, kissing my palm gently. I opened my eyes when he did, turning my head upwards so that I could look at him. Kaname looked back down at me, putting both of our hands onto his stomach, stilling holding mine gently.

" You were really worried, huh?" he asked me, sounding apologetic. I scoffed at him, curling up closer to him, if that was even possible. I was most comfortable when I was as close to him as possible, and I was not satisfied with the closeness at this moment.

" Do you even have to ask? Of course I was," I replied, blinking slowly as I looked at his chest instead. Gently, I kissed his skin, near his nipple, where I knew that he liked to be kissed the most. Well, there and his collarbone, but I had to scoot myself up if I were to kiss there. His free hand cupped my chin, making me look up at him, but it wasn't like I was struggling against him or anything.

" I suppose I'll have to make up for that, now won't I?" he replied with a smile, rubbing my chin with his thumb, like he had been doing with my hand. Then, he leaned forward just slightly, brushing his lips against my own before he kissed me. I kissed him back gently, eyes closing slowly, my muscles relaxing. One of Kaname's hands found it's way around my body, his palm resting against the middle of my back. My own hands moved so that I could wrap them around his neck, tugging him closer to myself, moving him so that he was over me slightly. He got the message and moved us both around, so he was now on top of me, our lips still connected. This was my favorite time of day, when we got to relax in bed together and kiss like this. Slowly, Kaname pulled away from me, only to move over to the side of my neck that did not have my tattoo, and placed a small kiss. I tilted my head to the side so that he would have better access to my neck, placing my hands on the back of his head. Kaname brushed his lips against my frantic pulse before beginning to leave butterfly kisses from below my ear all the way to my collarbone, then back up again. Making a small noise of pleasure, I glanced over at him, biting my bottom lip.

" Kaname...you go too slow with this stuff," I said to him, taking one of his hands and placing it on my hip, still looking at him. He looked at me and chuckled softly, white teeth showing as he did. The hand that I just moved found it's way inside my shirt, caressing me lovingly. Then moving over to my nipple, giving it a small pinch. My back arched, my breathing becoming slightly heavier than previously. He continued to tease me, giving slight pinches to my nipple before moving to the other, still kissing my neck gently. Wrapping my legs around his waist, I pulled his body closer, making him look up at me before I kissed him. Kaname kissed back, moving my shirt up and taking it off my body, only separating our lips momentarily before capturing them once again. Now, the kiss was even better, because our bare chests were together, and I was able to feel his smooth skin. Kaname's hand moved back to my chest, using his other hand as well, and began running his hands up and down my torso slowly, teasingly, feeling every inch of skin and muscle possible. Sighing contentedly, I licked his bottom lip, silently asking for entrance. He complied, and opened his mouth, our tongues moving against one another slowly in a passionate dance. Again, he was the first to pull away from the kiss, moving down my body to my chest, kissing my torso. Letting out a breath, I tangled my fingers in his chocolate, wavy hair, looking down at him.

" How early do you have to wake up tomorrow?" I questioned him, hoping that it wasn't too early. Recently, Kaname has been gone by the time I had woken up, and I had woken up fairly early, around 7:30 in the morning. I would like if he'd at least be there with me when I wake up, even if he was just about to leave, or better yet, still be asleep, because then I get to cuddle with him more before he has to leave.

" It's going to be early, I know that much for sure," Kaname replied to me after a moment, moving his mouth over to my nipple, giving it a small lick, followed by a bite, and then sucking. I wasn't able to hold in a moan when he did, shifting my body slightly so I was in a more comfortable position.

" If you have to wake up early, we don't want to do this. We can just cuddle and go to sleep. I can tell you're tired," I replied, my free hand running up and down his back. He shivered when I did, and I realized I had been using my nails. Kaname was fairly ticklish on his back, and often I would do that to him. I heard him hum softly in approval, still sucking on my now hardened bud.

" Just a little bit. Then we'll sleep," he replied, kissing his way across my chest to my other one, giving it the same treatment. Moaning once again, I laid my head back against the pillows, looking up at the white ceiling as I allowed him to do as he wished with me. His hands which were resting against my hips, moved over to the hem of my pants, his fingers slowly sneaking their way into them and then my boxers. I felt my face heat up and my length hardening from his touches. I was extremely sensitive right above my pubic hair area and Kaname was well aware of that. Using his nails, he gently moved back and forth along my sensitive area. Not able to control myself, my body began to react on his own, my back arching forward, legs shaking slightly as well. Moaning, I began to move around on the bed, somewhat thrashing around on the bed, breathing heavily and moaning.

" Does that feel good?" Kaname asked me, and I was able to hear clear amusement in his voice. He liked seeing me like this, which is why he often did it to me.

" You know it feels good Kaname, why do you even have to ask?" I replied to him with a fake pout, though it quickly was washed away from my face because of his actions. I moved my head back, my mouth hanging open as he continued to tease me, his one hand running all over my torso, brushing against my nipples every once in a while.

" I love you Zero," Kaname said to me, his hand moving up and cupping my chin, making me look at him. I did, offering just the slightest of smiles up at him, moving towards him and placing my lips against his own in a kiss. His hand slid out of my boxers and sweatpants, placing on my hip instead.

" I love you too," I replied once I had pulled away from his lips, brushing my cheek against his own, then needing to hold in a yawn. Kaname's touches always relaxed me enough that I actually began to get tired. He noticed, and he lay back down as he had been previously, pulling me against his chest. I happily lay down next to him, smiling from the feel of his chest. I gave his skin a small kiss before closing my eyes.

" Go to sleep Zero, okay?" he said to me, kissing the top of my head and wrapped an arm around me. I nodded and began to relax more, my breathing evening out and becoming a bit heavier. These moments that I had with Kaname were always so special to me, and I was so glad that I was able to share them with him. After what happened at school, I wasn't sure if I'd be able to be with anyone anymore, I thought for sure that I was going to be on my own, and eventually lose my mind from loneliness. But thankfully Kaname has been with me since everything that happened at the school. I owed him a lot, for taking care of me and dealing with me when I was too over clingy with him. I just hoped I wasn't keeping him from doing anything that he wanted to do, if he wanted to be with someone other than me...In a way, I was just holding onto him, forcing him to stay with me. But the way that he was with me, how he treated me like I was the most special thing to him, it gave me hope that I wasn't forcing him to be with me. Holding onto that thought, I was able to relax myself when I was around him, and live happily with him as we were.


End file.
